You have left us , but still in our memory. You have travelled a long way till you reached to this state. You are laying down between several people who some I have not met. But you are lucky, you are seeing them now. Two are angel birds in heaven. You have been our protector when our grandfather left. I dont know when our grandmother left. But I know our grandfather. You have fought for us and tried to protect and help. It has been several months. I try to shut myself to not cry and be strong. I try to fight my way cause since 2006 I feel I am lost. I am slowly finding my way. But still I know I have long way to pull myself from all of this. But even if I pull myself, your memory will still remain. You and granddad. Both of you are engraved in my heart for I have seen you both. I remember both. I can still hear both of you your voices. I try to heal myself and disconnect from the pain. I am more powerful than the pain. The cries which I didn't cry it, I am releasing them to be able to live my life with good memories. I dont deny the bad memories. I embrace it cause it shows how strong I am to come all this way. But its time to switch and take control of the ride of life, rather than the life controls me. I am in charge of it. I need to change lots of things to take control. There are many things which you have done for us, either we know it or don't, I really appreciate it.